Who is family?
Family...hmm...well, family has several definitions, it depends on how you wish to use it. For instance, the whole of the human race is not but one family...as we are all children of Adam and Hawwa. Another profound definition is when we have same sets of values that we hold very dear.I'm talking of a couple of definitions altogether here. People of like minds are said to be a family.
Peoples of the world that belief in the One-ness of God Almighty are classified as a family of Monotheist while those that think God does not exist are said to be atheist. All Muslims are family.
So, when we say the word 'family', it can mean a lot of things. But, basically, family, refers to your father, mother, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grand fathers and grand mothers. In Islam, this is what we mean when we talk of family. The second family sense we use outside this is the family sense of being Muslims.
What of the Nuclear Family?
The Nuclear family is an innovation of the Western lifestyle which is pretty counter productive in all ways. The extended family thing is the real deal. The Nuclear family has wrecked a lot havoc in the family. It's not a cool way to live life.
When you checkout the way God had ordained the sharing of a Muslim's properties after his death, you'll understand that the extended family is what God our Creator approves of and as Muslims, it is binding on us to accept it as such. So, if you have adopted the nuclear family idea, you'll have to reconsider and start mending fences with your extended family members. Do what it takes to make it work with them.
Some Family Members can be Irritating
Yes, this is true, but that's the reason why you are a Muslim.Your main job as a Muslim is to make things happen...make the world a better place to be by being the best you can be. Most guys that reverted to Islam during the Prophet's time became Muslims 'coz of the Prophet's binding energy. He treated them like family, he treated them with compassion and shared all he had with them. Remember the way the Ansars shared their wives with the Al-Muhajiroons...that's family!
Show them love...more love than they expect. It might take time, but they'll definitely give in. Just remember to stay safe when you do that...be strategic don't just go about forcing it on them. Do NOT trade blames, don't be a judge but a brother...family! Be strategic. What works with A might not work with B...be strategic...I hope you understand?!
Family Makes Life More Fun!
If you have a family member who is making life difficult for you, it's normal. But, the true essence of family is to make life very easy. So, what you do is give him/her some space and find a better family member to mingle with. They can't all be bad. Find the good ones, bind with them, with the good ones, create a positive force and together, you should reach out to hostile members and show them love. Show them the positive side of being family by dealing fairly among yourselves and constantly but strategically extending the hand of fellowship to them. You'll definitely win them back...it's only a matter of time!
All the great family names you hear and know today were built not in a day and not without trials and sacrifices made. Yes, some died in the process, but the good thing about it all today is that their kids are living large despite the economic hardship that is prevailing in the country.
It doesn't matter if there is no BIG man that foots the bills in your family. When you are true to the family spirit, it doesn't matter, with time, you'll all grow richer, bigger and stronger! Take for instance, if the number of your family members is just 25 and you need a million in six months from now, all you'll have to do is share the responsibility evenly and spread it over the duration. In this case, if every member pays N8 000 into the pool monthly, the money would be ready in 5 months. That's a whole month earlier than usual. Instead of waiting till you need the money, why not make it a habit to drop like a thousand or two in a family account monthly so that in times of need you just go pull out the amount needed.
As you might have seen, what is required is a little bit of organization and everyone would enjoy life to the fullest. Please, don't wait for a hero to get it done for you because you are probably the hero the family have been waiting for!
Salaam!
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